Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device

Posted in Art, Game, SteamPunk, Technology on March 18th, 2012 by Dr. Warthan
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You can thank “batman-n-bananas” (or just Tasha) on Deviant Art for this one.  We really like it when people use that imagination to make things that poke holes in science, and just imagine all the science we’ll get out of this baby.  At least one or two good train wrecks, and a falling airship.  That’s not a tragedy, that’s science – with holes.  Good job Tasha, high-5!

“Alright this next test may involve trace amounts of time travel. So word of advice: if you meet yourself on the testing track don’t make eye contact. Lab boys tell me that’ll wipe out time – entirely. Forward and backward. So do both of yourselves a favor and let that handsome devil go about his business.”

 As usual, click on the image and then zoom in to see detail.

Steam Engine Turn-Table

Posted in Art, SteamPunk, Technology on January 14th, 2011 by Dr. Warthan
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It’s a steam-driven turn-table.  I wonder how good it is.  You see, I have an audiophile speaker business and I’m always into the high-end stuff.  I’d like to hook it up to my tube-amp and my Brodmann Acoustics Vienna Classic VC7 speakers ($26,000/pair).

Built by a New Zealand based steampunk artist called Asciimation, the turntable features a a small steam engine he built from spare bits he had in his garage, The platter speed is controlled by a servo which uses a coil to read six magnets under the platter, with everything controlled by an Anduino processor.

Somebody buy it for me and I’ll hook it up to my stuff and let you know.


Future Retro Car

Posted in SteamPunk, Technology on January 14th, 2011 by Dr. Warthan
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Available in March 2011 for a mere $76,000, the Miluira electric car is your modern Green solution for all your 19th century automotive needs.  Capable of holding one 1-person and reaching speeds of an incredible 37MPH, you’ll be the envy of every Steampunker within its 21-mile range.

Actually, this car might even be a practical solution for local commuting.  The price tag is a bit steep for me but might be worth it to those with the bread to spread.  As for its top speed:  If you’re important enough, people will wait for you.

Babbage Analytical Engine to be built

Posted in SteamPunk, Technology on December 1st, 2010 by Dr. Warthan
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More accurately, IF blogger John Graham-Cumming can raise a mere $640,000 then the Charles Babbage Analytical Engine will be built in its entirety.  The Analytical Engine is superior to the Difference Engine (it can calculate Pi), and no one has ever fully built one before.

You got to love these crazy mad scientist types.  The engine itself is in effect a real computer complete with the mechanical equivalents of a CPU, memory, microcode, printer, and program cards.  If it actually works, it’ll be a triumph in engineering, and a testament to the genius of Charles Babbage.  So, if you want to help then visit Plan 28 and donate.

Lethal Coil Gun

Posted in InterWebs, Technology on September 24th, 2010 by Dr. Warthan
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Perfect for those close-quarters defense situations where only one shot is required and your opponent is standing perfectly still while you shoot them in the neck.

Time Machine

Posted in Art, InterWebs, SteamPunk, Technology on August 18th, 2010 by Dr. Warthan

You’re looking at the Watt Industries Time Machine which sells for a mere $100,000.  The seller is serious about the price and even has the brass to charge an extra $10 for shipping.

Gather round to witness the latest creation from the Watts Industries’ labs. Watch in awe as the power of the hand held device for traversing the chrono scape transports our ‘willing’ volunteer through time itself. Feuled by raw liquid ether held in the containment vessel at the bottom, the user has only to wind the clockwork mechanism at the top the desired number of times to initiate chronoporting.

disclaimer: Watts Industries Accepts no responsibility for chronofreeze, ingestion by theropods, Vexatious encounters with robots and infantication. If raw liquid ether is ingested seek medical attention yesterday.

Seriously, for $100,000 I better get a DeLorean that can hit 1955, and I insist that it have the Mr. Fusion, Plutonium, hover conversion, the works.  In other words, a REAL time machine, not just some groovy lamp.  Granted, the lamp is cool, just not 100-Grand cool…


Airships are Back

Posted in News, SteamPunk, Technology on August 9th, 2010 by Dr. Warthan
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Airships have made their comeback, and in more than one way.  Lockheed Martin has been developing the High Altitude Airship (HAA) which can reach 60,000 feet and provide advanced tactical information.

And there’s more.  Cargo, Passenger, Satellite, and other airships.

Read more »

VTR Controller

Posted in Art, InterWebs, SteamPunk, Technology on April 25th, 2010 by Dr. Warthan
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Some bored engineer at HiTechSys has converted one of their high-end VTR controllers into a completely operational Victorian-styled device.  Probably because it was NTSC which was replaced by ATSC a.k.a. HDTV, now 4K soon to be 8K. STOP THE MADNESS. All I want is to be able to watch the VHS pre-enhanced Star Wars on my SD 13-inch analog TV.  They gave the guy who did it an award and then showcased it at the NAB trade show.

Not bad.  Really pretty good, and I even like the telegraph.  But green phosphor CRT’s instead of LCD’s would have impressed me more.  And vacuum tubes instead of integrated circuits would have really impressed me.


Professor X Wheelchair and Bar (1875)

Posted in Art, SteamPunk, Technology on March 19th, 2010 by Dr. Warthan
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No matter how fun your next SteamPunk event is, chances are you’re going to be doing a lot of standing.  Daniel Valdez has the right idea.  He can sit down, pour himself drinks, and move about freely.  He’s not just wearing his technology, he’s making it work for him.

The Steampunk Professor Xavier Wheelchair by Daniel Valdez was made from a Victorian rocker from 1875, a Permobil C300 powered wheelchair, some pistons from a steelworks, an Arduino-based audio kit, and a drinks dispenser. You know, for the vodka and cranberry juice.

Via: Geekologie

Not to mention it’s a beautiful and creative piece of work.  Seriously, I want one.

Total Marketing Fail

Posted in Technology on February 28th, 2010 by Dr. Warthan
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Sure, slap a tube on it, and watch the SteamPunkers and audiophiles line up with pockets full of green vomit in disgust.  This is the X-Tube, a USB/headphone amp made to look like a vacuum tube, promising high-quality DTS sound.  But there’s a problem.

That problem is “marketing”.  First, calling it the X-Tube was really stupid.  Go Google X-Tube and you’ll come up with a laundry list of porn sites.  Porn + Marketing = Win Fail (in this case).  Second, the fake tube gimmick is so overdone; the various communities that are into valves prefer real and fully functional ones.  Third, according to the DVICE blog I saw this at, there’s strong evidence to suggest that the DTS slapped on the plastic tube is a lie.  Lie + Marketing = Total Fail.  Last, is why?  Almost all modern computers, especially laptops, have built-in headphone amplifiers.