It’s here. Tomorrow. Weekend at the Asylum 16 descends on Lincoln, UK August 28-31, and if you’re not already on a transatlantic flight with your brass goggles fogged from the sheer anticipation, I genuinely cannot help you. The Ministry of Steampunk has stacked the evening entertainment like a proper mad scientist stacks capacitors: Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer, Victor and the Bully, Alice Strange, Madam Misfit, and Tom B. Wild Esq. are all on the bill. That is not a lineup. That is a declaration of intent.

Lincoln’s Drill Hall and the surrounding Victorian streets turn into the most gloriously unhinged retro-futurist party on the planet for four days every August, and this is edition sixteen. Sixteen. The Doctor has been watching this one grow from a curious experiment into an institution, and institutions that celebrate corsets, copper fittings, and chap-hop deserve every chandelier they’ve got. Go. If you can’t go, follow along on social media and feel appropriately miserable about your life choices.

Nothing can beat old age and betrayal. But a weekend in Lincoln might come close. Grab your tickets and your top hat.

Britain has a Victorian waterworks in Nottingham that fires up its original 1880s James Watt beam engines, opens the underground reservoir, and once a year lets the Steampunk community take over the whole magnificent, gear-laden, boiler-heated cathedral of a building. This weekend was that weekend. The 10th Annual Steampunk Steam Event at Papplewick Pumping Station ran July 11-12, and if you weren’t there, you were somewhere objectively worse.

The lineup: Alice Strange on Saturday, Professor Elemental on Sunday (with a noon Rap School, because of course), Tea Dueling with Steampunk Shenanigans, over 30 trade stalls, and the engines in full steam the entire time. A Victorian pumping station that is a Scheduled Ancient Monument running its 1883 Lancashire boilers while costumed gogglers duel with teacups. The Omega7Red Formulae did not need to be applied here. The universe already did the work.

Year ten. High-5, Papplewick. Nothing can beat old age and betrayal, but ten years of keeping this alive on volunteer power comes close.