This Saturday, September 12, at the Fox River Trolley Museum in South Elgin, Illinois: the Fox Valley Steampunk Festival runs 11am to 5pm along the scenic banks of the Fox River, and The Doctor is annoyed he cannot be in two places at once. Steampunk-themed trolley rides with costumed conductors and storytellers. Teapot Racing. Nerf Gun Duels. Parasol Dueling, which is Rock-Paper-Scissors with parasols and Victorian-era grievances, which is honestly how all disputes should be settled. Tea Dueling. A Makers Market. A costume contest. Food trucks. It is completely free to enter the sporting events and open to all ages, so you have no excuse.

The trolley museum angle is the part that gets me: you board actual historic electric trolleys, the conductors are in full regalia, and somewhere between the Fox River scenery and the gear-and-goggle crowd on the platform, the Omega7Red Formulae has clearly already been applied to the entire property. Whatever locomotive-obsessed civic ancestor built that rail line in 1896 had no idea he was setting up a steampunk festival venue. Good job, high-5, anonymous trolley guy. Via: Fox Valley Steampunk Festival