It’s here. Tomorrow. Weekend at the Asylum 16 descends on Lincoln, UK August 28-31, and if you’re not already on a transatlantic flight with your brass goggles fogged from the sheer anticipation, I genuinely cannot help you. The Ministry of Steampunk has stacked the evening entertainment like a proper mad scientist stacks capacitors: Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer, Victor and the Bully, Alice Strange, Madam Misfit, and Tom B. Wild Esq. are all on the bill. That is not a lineup. That is a declaration of intent.

Lincoln’s Drill Hall and the surrounding Victorian streets turn into the most gloriously unhinged retro-futurist party on the planet for four days every August, and this is edition sixteen. Sixteen. The Doctor has been watching this one grow from a curious experiment into an institution, and institutions that celebrate corsets, copper fittings, and chap-hop deserve every chandelier they’ve got. Go. If you can’t go, follow along on social media and feel appropriately miserable about your life choices.

Nothing can beat old age and betrayal. But a weekend in Lincoln might come close. Grab your tickets and your top hat.